BEGIN TRANSMISSION
HAN IMPERIAL WRESTLING STARTS IN…
3
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And with that, we cut directly into the middle of the ring, where the Emperor is standing, calmly being adulated by the slightly less calm crowd. In fact, even with the impression that he’s been out there some time, it still takes a while for the cheering to calm down enough for the Emperor to speak.
“Thank you,” the most important man in China says after several minutes of waiting. “Thank you for your wonderful welcome. And now I welcome you to… IMPERIAL WRESTLING!”
Well, if he was hoping to keep the crowd quiet long enough to say a few things, that probably wasn’t the best way to do it. It’s another several moments before he’s able to talk again.
“I have listened to the pleas of my subjects, and my advisors. Many of you crave excitement and action. You are tired of hearing about legends… you want to SEE legends created before your very eyes! Now… either there can be political strife and conflict, wars that sweep the countryside, destroying everything in their path, and rendering many of you starving. Is that the kind of legends you want to see made? Or would you rather see the legends be made RIGHT HERE?”
The cheer is pretty obvious what the good people of China prefer. They like eating and living, after all.
“So I have given you THIS. An arena. A playground where Warriors can come and prove themselves, and MAKE themselves into legends with their own skill and might! And you will all bear witness to their deeds, whether they are for good or ill!”
More cheers, but this time the Emperor stops it with the wave of his hand. “Sadly... while I hope you all enjoy this new Imperial endeavor, and that it creates many memorable heroes and moments for all of you to talk about on cold winter nights… I have an Empire to run, and far more important things to do than take command of a simple sporting league. Someone else is going to have to take the reigns here. And I am looking-“
The expression on the Emperor’s face as a trumpet fanfare interrupts him is damn priceless, a mixture of surprise, indignation, and even a little amusement as he looks on the stage and sees Yuan Shao, walking… no SAUNTERING out. His nose in the air, he walks past all the fans as if they’re not even there, and climbing up the steps into the ring. Already the crowd’s about had it with this disrespectful jackass, but still quiets down as Yuan Shao turns to address the Emperor.
“Your Majesty,” Yuan Shao begins, sycophantic sentiment dripping from his words as he bows. You talk of a man who’s capable… who better than those who carry out your will elsewhere? A nobleman is the right man for the job. And there is NO family more noble, NO family whose name commands respect more than the YUAN family. I believe the correct choice is almost obviously simple-“
“It is!” interrupts another voice from the entrance way, strolling out into the arena, and the crowd’s dislike intensifies even more. This newcomer looks and dresses much like Yuan Shao, but is a bit shorter, a bit younger, and somehow even more arrogant and unlikeable. Yuan Shao doesn’t seem the least bit happy to see his brother, the even more caustic Yuan Shu on his way to the ring. Yuan Shu steps in, and smirks at his brother.
“You’re right about one thing, brother,” Yuan Shu declares, disdain evident in that last word. “The Yuan Family IS the most noble, loyal, and worthy of carrying out the Emperor’s will here. But not YOU. You’re nothing but an overinflated popinjay with a chest so puffed out it’s sucked whatever used to be in his brain right to it. No, Shao. If anyone’s going to carry out the Emperor’s will here… it will be ME.”
“You have no right!” Yuan Shao protests, clearly flustered by his brother’s proclamation. “I should be the leader! I am the eldest of the Yuan Family! And by the traditions of Nobility, that means I…
“No. One. Cares.” This new speaker is smaller, but immediately commands more respect from the crowd the moment he walks out from backstage. Cao Cao takes a second to gauge the much more positive reaction from the crowd, and even notices the Emporer looks almost relieved. He doesn’t march to the ring though, but stands on the outside, his voice booming to the crowd. “No one cares about what the traditions of the nobility are. Nobody cares what two arrogant blowhards who lucked into the right parantege have to think. Your Majesty, I STRONGLY recommend that the only titles that should matter here are the ones that are EARNED inside those very ropes, not the ones that you were born with. And the person who controls Han Imperial Wrestling should be based on ABILITY… not nobility.”
“THAT’S THE STUPIDEST THING I EVER HEARD!” barks Yuan Shao, and by the nod, it’s apparent his brother agrees. Everyone else? Notsomuch. Even the Emperor is trying not to corpse as the crowd hoots their disdain at Shao.
“I’ll take your word for that, considering you’re likely an expert on extremely stupid things,” Cao Cao responds dryly, earning much applause from the crowd. Cao Cao turns his attention to the Emperor. “Your Majesty… I might not be known as well as the Yawn brothers here- but I have ambition, I have talent, and I have an executive mind. But more importantly, I can also RECOGNIZE ambition and talent in others. I’m the perfect man for this job.”
As the Yuan brothers protest, the Emperor, who’s stood silently through the whole thing,, strokes his chin, and fiddles idly with his robe. Finally, he looks up. “All three of you pose…. interesting reasons why you should all be selected for the job. It seems I have some thinking to do.”
“What is there to think about?!” Yuan Shu demands, but he’s quickly interrupted by Cao Cao.
“You are a wise man, indeed, Your Majesty.” the blue clad man on the entrance ramp intones. “Please, take your time. I know you will deliberate, be honest with yourself and come to the right decision.”
The Emperor nods, looking like all this has taken a great toll on him. He had come out to issue a proclomation, not to suddenly find himself ambushed into an argument by three people. “I will have my decision by the end of the night,” he finally declares, and with that, we cut to commercial.
**********************************
As we come back from commercial, three yellow clad men are standing in the ring, and by the sound of the crowd, they haven’t exactly been endearing themselves to the audience. The eldest of the three, Zhang Jiao, who’s long hair spreads out behind him like a lion’s mane, is doing most of the talking.
“The Han is CORRUPT!” Jiao declares loudly enough to be heard over the jeers. “All this ‘entertainment’ is simply meant to pull the wool over your eyes! But when you follow ME, my children, join with my brothers here… when you devote yourself to the Way of Peace… you discover the truth of these CHARLATANS…” Jiao finishes with a sneer, biting off the word with disgust. He’s about to say more, but suddenly glances at the entrance, and his jaw drops.
In fact, everyone’s jaw drops.
An enormous man is walking down the ramp, a look of contempt on his face as he ignores the crowd, his strides purposeful in the direction of the ring. He hops onto the apron, and climbs OVER the top rope, glowering at the three men, all of whom are slowly backing away as he regards each of them.
“My name…” the big man pauses, looking again at each of the three. “Is Lu Bu. Which one of you am I here to crush like an insect?”
The three yellow-clad brothers stare at Lu Bu, stunned for several seconds. Then the eldest, Zhang Jiao, and the middle, Zhang Liang, turn to point towards the youngest, Zhang Ba, who simply gulps, even as the ref ushers the other two out of the ring (not that they’re protesting much)
This one got real ugly, real fast. To his credit, Zhang Ba showed some guts to start the contest, trying to wear the big guy down with leg strikes. But it didn’t work, and after one massive choke toss sent Ba flying across the ring, he decided self-preservation took a higher priority and attempted to bail on the match. Unfortunately, Lu Bu was a bit quick for that, and dragged poor Ba back in to take the beating we all knew he had coming.
As the nasty shots and slams continued to add up on poor Zhang Ba, his brothers stood outside the ring, neiher in any hurry to do anything except cringe and cower every time Lu Bu sent poor Zhang Ba to the canvas in a heap. Finally, with Ba practically BEGGING to be put out of his misery, LuBu hit the Spirit Bomb (Jacknife Powerbomb), planted his foot squarely atop Zhang Ba’s chest, and got the easy three count.
WINNER BY PINFALL: LU BU
The crowd cheered the brutal, quick match, and when it was over, Lu Bu simply tossed Zhang Ba’s body over the top rope, to land in a heap beside his brothers, who could only continue to stare in open amazement, although Zhang Jiaos face was turning to one of righteous fury. Lu Bu simply snorted in derision, turned, and left the ring.
*********************
A quick cut backstage and we see a young woman shadowboxing, dressed in an ornate red tunic and tight red pants. This is Sun Shang Xiang, the Bow-Waisted Princess. After a quick jab jab uppercut combination, she fires two quick roundhouse kicks- nearly hitting someone as he walks around the corner into the room!
“Whoah! Easy there, Shangxiang!” says the goateed man, narrowly avoiding taking a kick to the face. “Don’t want to get knocked out by my own sister!”
“Sorry, Brother Ce,” Shangxiang says apologetically, with a small bow. “Got a little carried away.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Sun Ce replies, smiling at his kid sister. “You look warmed up for your match tonight.”
“Thanks! I can’t wait to show you all what I can do out there!” exclaims the young woman. “This Cai Wenji won’t know what hit her!” To emphasize her point, she fires off another series of roundhouse kicks.
“I’d calm down if I were you. Save your strength,” comes another voice as another young man, younger than Sun Ce, his hair tied back in a ponytail. Behind him comes an older man, his silver hair cropped short.
“Don’t worry about me, Quan. I’ll be fine,” insists Shangxiang, giggling as she watches her older brother roll his eyes behind Quan’s back. “Just need to get the blood pumping, is all. Isn’t that right, Father?”
The silver-haired Sun Jian wisely decides not to join in the argument, only answering with a chuckle that cuts the argument short. He claps a hand on buth Ce’s and Shangxiang’s shoulders, “Tonight… we show just what the Sun Family is capable of. I’m proud of both of you, and how far you’ve come in your training, and I know you’ll both show the world exactly what it means to be a child of the Tiger of Jiang Dong!”
Ce and Shangxiang both beam with pride, but Quan looks away, frustrated rejection clear on his face- something that doesn’t escape his sister’s notice, as she puts a hand on Quan’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’ll get your chance soon enough!”
“As will you, Father,” Ce adds helpfully, as Quan looks significantly mollified by his sister’s gesture.
“I know. Quan and I we’ll do just fine when our time comes. Tonight is your night though. So make the most of it. And remember, I couldn’t be prou-” Sun Jian’s voice trails off as he looks at the entrance to their locker room- where a very irritated Yuan Shu is standing.
“I summoned you five minutes ago, Sun Jian.” the caustic nobleman hisses, his voice snapping off each word. “I’d think a man of your… stature would be more inclined not to want to keep his BETTERS waiting.”
All three Sun children bristle at that, but Sun Jian keeps them all silent with a look, making sure to keep his tone mild. “Sorry about that,” he says amiably. “I was just wishing my son and daughter good luck tonight.”
“Hmm, I trust they’ll do well? They won’t embarass me?” Yuan Shu demands, folding his arms across his chest.
“They won’t embarass you in the least,” Sun Jian responds evenly. “There’s no need to worry about it.”
“Oh, there is PLENTY need to worry about it!” Yuan Shu says. “Remember, ‘Tiger’... you are indebted to ME. You answer to ME, you are MY charge, and if your children disgrace YOU tonight, they disgrace ME as well! Is that understood?”
“Hey! Why you gotta be so-” Sun Ce begins angrily.
“That’s enough, Ce.” Sun Jian says, the severity in his voice a direct contrast to the proud papa tone he had earlier. “My son is in high spirits tonight,” he adds as way of apology.
Ce glowers, but Yuan Shu casually dismisses him with a snort. “Well, if you’re done playing daddy, there’s some things I need to talk to you about. Come on.”
And with a small shrug to his furious looking kids, Sun Jian silently allows himself to be led from the room.
*****************
Crowd was hyped for this one, watching two big boys tangle, and they ended up not disappointed. Despite giving up seven inches to Guan Yu, Zhang Fei was stockier, and their evenness in strength showed straight off the bat when the two men locked horns, staggering about the ring for a long time, bellowing like oxen, but neither man poised to gain an advantage, until the stalemate was mutually broken. From there, Zhang Fei took the advantage, thanks to a not-quite-legal pull of Guan Yu’s long, magnificent beard, driving his face into an uppercut. Zhang Fei battered Guan Yu around the ring, with big heavy blows that laid the punishment to the taller man. Fei risked a bit of a DQ by continuing to pummel Guan Yu in a corner, to the point that the ref intervened, pulling Fei away before he could knock himself out of the match.
It would be an errant punch that turned the table though, with Guan Yu grabbing it, reversing it into a single armed chickenwing that he comboed into a suplex. It would be that kind of technical/power combination that would even up the match, with Guan Yu throwing ZHang Fei around with suplexes, and dropping him with slams, even throwing a legdrop, geting serious altitude thanks to his 6’10 frame. But while he did get a couple two-counts out of it, Zhang Fei refused to stay down. Even worse, the stocky man kept laughing and grinning through the onslaught- the man was ENJOYING the fight, even while taking a beating!
Guan Yu was clearly getting frustrated with Zhang Fei’s stubborn resilience, and decided to convince him to stay down with the Ascending Dragon (Last Ride Powerbomb). But as he went for the Dragon, Zhang Fei countered to land on his feet, and while Guan Yu went for a belly to belly, Zhang Fei landed on his feet, reversed the momentum, and sent Guan Yu flying to the mat instead!
Zhang Fei’s brawling style took over again, but the intensity was even higher now, with him beckoning at Guan Yu to get up, and yelling “come on!” every time, and then landing another blow to send Guan Yu back down. With the beating he was taking, it was evident Guan Yu was going to be sore tomorrow, but he kept getting back up. Rather than being frustraed though, Zhang Fei seemed even more encouraged. It seemed like he was willing to go all night if he had to!
Eventually though, Zhang Fei started to change tack slightly, introducing a tech game of his own with some low-level suplexes and DDT’s, making a few covers that were ultimately unsuccessful. With Guan Yu slower and slower ot respond each time, Zhang Fei ramped it up another notch going for… well, we never knew, but it certainly involved a double underhook. But Guan Yu back body dropped out of it, sending Zhang Fei over his head to land behind him!
Even though Fei was slow to get up though, Guan Yu didn’t capitalize, instead pacing around the ring, clutching his back, in clear discomfort. Zhang Fei had enough time to get to his feet on his own, and for a few seconds, the two men stared at each other, Guan Yu’s face serious, Zhang Fei grinning, but there was respect in both men’s eyes, and the crowd cheered this as much as they cheered for the next clash.
And it came, again the two men locking up in the collar and elbow, and again the two men staggered around the ring, their bellows far more winded now, but still there was no advantage gained- until Guan Yu quickly transitioned to a waist lock, hoicking a surprised Zhang Fei off his feet, into the air in a bearhug! The crowd cheered as Fei’s feet kicked wildly, off the ground, bellowing in pain from the hug, as Guan Yu roared in exertion, the ref barely able to be heard as if he asked Zhang Fei if he wanted to quit, but the answer was as loud as the pain- HELL NO!
And then, to Guan Yu’s disbelief, Zhang Fei roared again, this one of strength, and to everyone’s amazement, broke out of the bearhug! And before the stunned Guan Yu could respond, Zhang Fei roared again, and shoved him back, Guan Yu crashing off balance into the turnbuckle. Zhang Fei was not long to follow with his Mighty Shout! (Running Avalanche splash) But Guan Yu spun aside at the last second, and Zhang Fei went full on into the turnbuckle! As the crowd groaned at the impact, the big man staggered back, woozy, and fell back to the mat. All eyes turned to Guan Yu, waiting for him to capitalize.
But he didn’t, slumping against the rope, holding his back again, clearly too winded to end the match, even though it seemed right there in front of him. Finally he staggered forward, collapsing atop Zhang Fei… 1...2...NOPE! Fei rolled the shoulder, and Yu could only slump to the mat, frustration evident in his face. Above them, the referee began the ten count, the crowd jeering that this match could end in such a fashion, but those jeers turned to cheers as by four boht men were stirring, and the count was called off at six, both men getting to their feet.
There was no staredown this time, just a haymaker from Zhang Fei to Guan Yu, reeling him back. Guan Yu responded with one of his own, Zhang Fei teetering, only to respond with one, have it returned, and land another, neither man going down, but neither able to capitalize on anything beyond an even trade- until Zhang Fei landed one that sent Yu back into the ropes, clearly off balance and… the bell rang.
Wait.. what the-?
TIME LIMIT DRAW
Well, crap…
… not that it mattered much to Zhang Fei, who tried to press the attack on Guan Yu with more punches, only to be sent sprawling with a big boot from Guan Yu, who stomped away at him, as the bell rang again, sounding more insistent this time. And again it had no effect, GUan Yu tried to pick Zhang Fei up, but Zhang Fei lunged forward, lifting Yu off his feet, and driving him into the canvas, Fei following up by raining down blows, only for Guan Yu to roll him over, taking the top, and raining down blows of his own- until Zhang Fei reversed it again.
The ref, abandoning any sense of self-preseravation threw himself onto that melee, trying to pry the men off each other- diligently keeping at his task as the brawl caused both men to roll over HIM! Finally, with the crowd chanting “Let them fight!”, he manages to pull Zhang Fei off, screaming at him to stop, and stepping between the two as Guan Yu gets to his feet as well, both men clearly looking like they’re ready to go again.
The realization that the match was over slowly starts to sink into the two men- so caught up in their fight, they’d failed to notice any of the bells, or the ref begging them. Now that they were coming down from the adrenaline though, both men seemed to understand what had happened, and both allowed the ref to raise their hand, signifying the draw, the crowd, while wanting to see a finish, applauding the fight they’d seen. The applause deepened as Guan Yu offered a hand to Zhang Fei, who gladly took it, and the two men embraced in a display of sportsmanship!
And then, the two men left together, clapping each other on the shoulder and gleefully discussing the match as if they were old friends who’d known each other for years. Behind them in the ring, the ref could only stare at them in amazement… and wipe his brow in relief that his job hadn’t been nearly as hard as it could have been.
Let’s take a commercial break.
*******************
XI
LIANG
EXPRESS
And those three words have thrown the fans into an absolute frenzy as we return to the arena, where the Xiliang Express (okay, two words… Chinese to English translation can be tricky) have made their way to the ring with a thunderous ovation. Leading the way is the Splendid Ma Chao, lustrious horsehair hat making all the ladies swoon, while the bigger, more stoic Pang De has his own following from the manly men, tall, muscular, and with bitchin facial hair to boot.
“It’s been a loing journey from Xiliang,” Ma Chao begins once the cheering has died down. “But my Father has sent us to make sure that those of us from the northwestern lands do our province proud. And tonight, in the main event of the show… we plan to do just that!”
“We’ve been hearing rumors backstage tonight,” Pang De. “A tournament to determine the first Twin Dragons championship will be held shortly. And as of right now, you can consider Ma Chao and myself entered. And we will PROVE to the world that we are the epitome of supreme might.”
“And we know our opponents tonight well,” Ma Chao continues. “That fat slob Dong Zhuo has looked down on my land, my family, my people for YEARS. To find out that here tonight, in this ring, that we will get to shut up his mouth once and for all…”
“And for his partner, Zhang Liao,” Pang De continues. “I’ve heard he is a great warrior in his own right… and I look forward to testing myself against him in this, the ultimate testing ground. But as long as he is allied with Dong Zhuo… I cannot help but wonder just how strong his strength of honor really is.”
“We don’t care about the politics that have already engulfed this company, and we don’t care what we have to do in the coming weeks to prove ourselves the best team in all of China. We will do it, and when the dust clears, we WILL be the Twin Dragons champions!” Ma Chao finishes with a fluorish, and the crowd leaps to their feet, rooting on the Xiliang Express as they roll out of the ring, heading backstage ot finish preparations for tonight.
*****************
To say Cai Wenji looked nervous as she made her way to the ring would be an understatement, but it was even more noticeable in contrast to the extremely exuberant SSX, who came out rearin to go, almost bouncing on her feet as the ref finished preparation for the match and called for the bell. Shangxiang held herself long enough for a polite pre-match handshake between her and Wenji… and then completely let loose, firing off leg kick after leg kick on her poor opponent, who just didn’t seem to have an answer in return!
It didn’t help that the crowd got immediately behind Shangxiang either, going nuts as she backed Wenji into the corner, whipped her hard across the ring, and followed up with a handspring elbow smash into a facecrucher that was good for a VERY long two count. Poor Wenji looked miserable every time she tried to rise, only to get taken down again, but caught some luck when Shangxiang over pursued, and whiffed on a double knee drop.
Wenji got to her feet, almost in disbelief that she suddenly had the advantage, and gave SSX a dropkick to the chest, then antoher one, then a jumping DDT, causing some of the fans to start rallying behind her! But the poor woman overplayed her hand, and with a careless whip to the ropes, Shangxiang ducked the lariat Wenji had planned, hit the other side, and blasted her with a swinging neckbreaker, and with that, all the wind was out of Wenji’s sails. The poor girl kept trying to get up, to her credit, but Shang Xiang’s offense was just too much for her, and after a particularily nasty looking reverse Russian Leg sweep, Shangxiang was up to the top turnbuckle, coming off with her Crimson Volley (Moonsault Double Foot Stomp), and from there, it was just three seconds til the end.
WINNER BY PINFALL: SUN SHANGXIANG
SSX was clearly happy as she got to her feet, but that was nothing compared to what we saw of her brothers and father backstage, applauding and exchanging high fives in celebration of their little sister’s awesome debut performance!
*************************
“Wow, she’s pretty good.” Evidently, the Sun brothers aren’t the only ones watching the end of the last match, given that we now see Xiahou Yuan watching through a curtain. The stocky man isn’t being sarcastic, either, but sounds genuinely impressed. “I bet if I jumped off like that- I’d probably break both my knees.”
“Don’t worry about that now, Brother.” comes the voice of his much smaller, sterner brother from his side. Xiahou Dun gently tugs on Yuan’s shoulder, pulling him away from the curtain. “We have more important things to worry about now…”
“You’re facing her brother, you know,” Yuan says with a raised eyebrow. “Could probably learn a few things from-”
“If he fights anything like her, I’ll destroy him,” Dun replies tersely. “I have no use for all this running around jumping off of things nonsense.”
“Hmm… I wouldn’t rule anything out, Brother.” Yuan muses, looking back over at the curtain. “It seeems dismissing someone’s style without even facing it seems a bit…”
But Xiahou Yuan trails off as another man walks in- Cao Cao, whom we saw staring down the Yuan brothers in the opening segment. Cao Cao appears to be quite deep in thought, stroking his chin and scowling. Dun and Yuan exchange glances at each other.
“What do you think the Emperor’s going to decide, cousin?” Yuan finally asks.
“I don’t know,” Cao Cao replies, after a considerable pause. “I believe I’ve made my case well enough, but…”
“The Emperor would be a fool not to choose you!” Xiahou Dun says brusquely. “Those two incompetent idiots would..”
“I know that,’ Cao Cao says, interrupting his cousin. “But the Yuan family commands a lot of respect, despite those two. It will be hard for the Emperor to say no to established nobility like that.”
“Well, all the more reason for me to beat this Sun Ce whelp tonight,” Dun responds, cricking his neck. “You say you value ability… let him see the ability of one you value.”
Cao Cao glances at his cousin, and strokes his chin, and nods. “Perhaps, yes. Give me honor, Dun.”
Dun nods, an intense glare on his face, and we cut to commercial again.
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Oh, crap… they’re back.
Zhang Ba, well, didn’t quite make it thanks to Lu Bu’s actions, but once again Zhang Jiao and his other brother Liang have taken over the ring, and are preaching to a decisively unhappy crowd.
“I speak the truth, and so they send this MONSTER out to attack me and my BROTHERS?” Jiao roars, furious. “I am the voice of the HEAVENS! The TRUTH channels through my veins, and the truth is the Han, and this Emperor, are a DISEASED VERMIN. And anyone who DARES-”
But Jiao is cut off by a roar from the crowd as a man comes walking out of the back- a smaller man, youthful looking, with two long braids along the side of his head, and a long ponytail in the back. He looks somewhat irritated, as he faces Jiao and Liang.
“My name, is Liu Bei,” the man says, to deafening cheers from the audience, who have seemed to recognize him. “The blood of the Han runs in my veins, the Emperor is a distant relative of mine, and I’ll be DAMNED if I’m going to sit back there and let my family be insulted.”
“A relative of the Emporer?” Jiao mocks, drawing the ire back on him. “Tell me, BOY. Do they even invite you to the family reunion? Because I could have sworn I saw you working the souvenier stand earlier.”
Liu Bei’s expression is stony, but he doesn’t respond to Jiao’s taunts. Jiao decides to take a more threatening tack. “Well, since you’ve RUDELY interrupted me, maybe YOU Need to be made an example of. In fact, since you so freely admitted that you ARE of Han blood… maybe we should spill a little right here… right now?”
The crowd jeered, but that turned to cheers as Liu Bei stepped back, and beckoned for them to come on. Zhang Jiao, turned to his brother, nodded, and slid out of the ring, leaving Liang to do the dirty work.
Liang certainly looked more confident than his brother did earlier- probably because his opponent was like a foot shorter- but still found himself on his heels right off the bat, with Liu Bei rapid-firing punches into his head, backing him up into the ropes, and whipping him across the ring- only for Liang to slide out, which made the crowd even less happy, although they still enthusiastically cheered Liu Bei, who certainly seemed more confiident now that he’d gotten the upper hand.
Liang was whining something fierce about Liu Bei not giving enough room to get back in the ring, so, being the acommodating soul that he is, Liu Bei stepped all the way back to let Liang, who’s count was rapidly approaching 10, back in. That was what Zhang Jiao wanted though and with the ref still watching his brother returning to the ring, Jiao hopped up on the apron, and jumped back down, snapping Liu Bei’s neck over the ropes! By the time Liang was back in the ring, Jiao was moving away, looking completely innocent of the entire thing!
Now Liang went on the assault, stomping on Liu Bei, amongst nastier techniques like choking him on the ropes, and thumbing him in the eye before dropping him with a DDT. Each one incensed the crowd more and more, and they rooted harder and harder for the struggling Liu Bei, but he was just seemingly too much in over his head. Once he reversed a lariat with a baseball slide to backstabber combination, only for Zhang Jiao to again reach undetected through the ropes and grab his leg, tripping him before he could capitalize! Furious Liu Bei turned his attention to Jiao, but that left him vulnerable to a Zhang Liang counterattack- first a shot to the back of the neck, then a hookup for a bridging German Suplex and the 1..2..3!
WAIT! NO! Liu Bei kicks out just before the three, and Zhang Liang was FURIOUS, turning to the ref and tearing into him, while Zhang Jiao let the official have it from the outside with something something something WILL OF THE HEAVENS something HEATHEN something. Liu Bei took advantage, grabbing Liang and rolling him up in a schoolboy, the ref diving and counting 1-2-3!!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: LIU BEI
The crowd erupted as the bell rang- but so did Zhang Jiao with a howl of fury, sliding into the ring and wielding a staff in his hands, bringing it down on Liu Bei’s head before he could get back to his feet. The ovation turned to jeers as Zhang Liang got up, and joined his brother in the assault, stomping away at the winner with abandon, only letting up to let Zhang Jiao take another shot with his staff! All poor Liu Bei could do was cover himself up, trying to ride out the assault.
Thank god for the calvary,eh?
That comes in the form of Guan Yu and Zhang Fei (whos clearly of no relation to the attacking brothers here). Bitter opponents just a few minutes ago, the two are now in the ring like chariots of fire, blasting both Jiao and Liang to hell with massive clotheslines! Zhang Liang struggled to his feet, but got a Louthesz press from Zhang Fei, who’s fist raised and fell like a damned piston as he wailed away on Liang’s face. Guan Yu simply grabbed Zhang Jiao, and sent him plummeting over the top rope to the outside, turning back to the last of the Zhang brothers in the ring! Zhang Fei, meanwhile, lifted Zhang Liang up, and threw him into the turnbuckle, exploding into it with the Mighty Shout, this time connecting and squashing Zhang Liang flat! Guan Yu finished up with a running start of his own, and hit a knee strike that lifted Liang over the top rope to tumble to the outside, as the crowd ROARED!
As Zhang Jiao fumed on the outside, even as he went to check his brother, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei helped Liu Bei to his feet, dusting him off, while still keeping a wary eye on the two angry men outside the ring.
######################
Bickerbickerbickerbickerbicker.
That’s all anyone can make out as we cut backstage, to where the three prospective candidates for leadership of HIW are arguing amongst each other, each man trying to get heard over the others as to why he’s the best man for the job, and both others would make terrible leaders. Suddenly, Cao Cao stops, backs away, and kneels, leaving the two Yuan brothers arguing amongst each other… at least until they realize who just showed up.
The Emperor.
To call the speed at which the Yuan brothers go into a kneel impressive would be an understatement, so quick are they to drop down, glaring all the while at Cao Cao, each man thinking what a suck-up he is. If the Emperor notices the animosity and politicking, he doesn’t show it. After bowing in acceptance of the fealty, he gestures for them to rise.
“Have you reached a decision yet, Your Majesty?” asks the impatient Yuan Shu as they rise to their feet.
“I have indeed,” says the Emporer, smiling at the three men jousting for control of his company. “First of all… I believe the time has come for us to crown a Grand Champion, wouldn’t you agree?” When this produces murmurs of agreement from the men, he continues. “I’m thinking of a tournament- thirty-two of the finest warriors around the land, fighting for the honor. We’ll hold it over the next few weeks, with the Finals to be held in two months time, at our second Supercard- Battle Born!”
“That’s an excellent idea, Your Majesty!” says Yuan Shao, the sycophantry almost dripping from his lips.
“Indeed. The one who would be Grand Champion would be well to be the one who earns it,” agrees Cao Cao, much more earnestly.
“And would you say the same about those who would be my representative in running Han Imperial Wrestling, Cao Cao?” asks The EMperor, looking directly at the man.
“I would,” agrees Cao Cao, just as earnest as before.
“Well, I agree to that too!” the Emperor says, beaming. “So next week, here, in that very ring… it will be you, Yuan Shao, against your brother, Yuan Shu, against this supposed ‘upstart’ Cao Cao… winner take all!”
Yuan Shao looks surprised, but Yuan Shu looks FURIOUS, but wisely holds his tongue in the Emperor’s presence. Cao Cao seems the most satisfied out of all of them,
“Well, there it is,” the Emperor says with a nod dismissing the three of them. “I’ll see you all next week.”
And with that Yuan Shao, Yuan Shu, and Cao Cao head off, each man thinking of how ot twist this situation to the utmost advantage.
==================
The crowd was already into this one- even moreso with the announcement of the Grand Champion’s tournament just a few minuts prior- there’s a good chance that this could be a preview of one of the final matches!
Both Ce and Dun seemed to feel it too, and the ring was almost crackling with electricity as the bell rang, both men locking horns in the center of the ring, jockeying for position. Xiahou Dun, being a bit bigger, began to get the advantage, shoving Ce back, only for Ce to suddenly break the tie-up and roll away. Another attempt to pursue Ce resulted in Ce rolling away again, and by now the frustration was already evident on Xiahou Dun’s face- this little punk was every bit as flighty as his sister!
And that’s when the roundhouse kick smashed him in the side of the head.
Down went Dun, to the gasp of the crowd, and Ce was suddenly on him like water on a rice paddy, smashing him repeatedly with knees, until Dun’s reaching the ropes forced Ce back at the ref’s behest. Ce backed off, beckoning for Dun to get up, and Dun obliged- although a newfound respect was on his face, despite the sudden ringing in his ears. Showing more respect to this cub, Dun moved in more cautiously, only for Ce to dance back from each of his offensive attempts, until Dun over pursued, and Ce drove a knee up into his face- except this was EXACTLY what Dun wanted, the seemingly careless lunge in actuality a brilliant feint. He caught Ce’s leg, holding it. Ce tried an Enziguri, but Dun ducked, and Ce went to the mat, only to push himself back up onto his one unheld leg. That was the cue for Dun- he twisted HARD with a dragon screw, spinning Ce’s body back the way it had come in the failed Enziguri, with Ce’s knee as the focal point! Ce’s body smashed into the mat hard, the young man screaming in agony at his twisted knee!
The crowd wasn’t sure what to make of this- that was totally legal, but the cold and pragmatic Dun was making a lot of them uneasy as he stared down at Ce, his expression almost nonexistant. He latched on a kneebar, and fans immediately knew this was the end from Ce’s howls of pain.
Except it wasn’t- Ce proved tougher than anyone could have imagined and he crawled to the ropes- grabbing onto them for dear life and forcing the hold broken, the crowd applauding at the damned TOUGHNESS this tiger cub showed! Now it was Dun who was forced to back off as Ce staggered to his feet, using the ropes to help him. He tried to put weight on his knee- found he could, although the pain was clearly excrutiating. Dun, sensing the wounded animal, moved in for the kill… only for Ce to put on a burst of energy, charging forward and hitting him with the BLAZING SMASH! (roaring elbow!)
Dun collasped in a heap, but so did Ce, the step required to pull the elbow off causing his knee to give out, and make him collapse again. After several long seconds of lying there, cradling his knee, hissing in pain, Ce finaly dove forward and threw his hand across Dun… 1...2.. took too long and Dun kicks out.
Both men down now… and both even slower to get up! Finally they do- Ce thankfully having an easier time of putting weight on his knee, but his mobility is still severely hampered. Dun quickly realizes this, and after Ce can’t get out of the way of a few chops, Dun starts breaking out some heavier artillery. Suplexes- a German, a belly to belly, and Northern Lights come into play- the last one netting a two count of Dun’s own. Dun went right back to the submission game, putting on a spinning toe hold that again, went right to Ce’s knee, the young man refusing to quit, despite clear pain!
Xiahou Dun eventually tires of the hold, and releases Sun, but hardly stops the pressure, as he drags Ce to his feet. Ce comes alive though, with aheadbutt that sends Dun staggering back. Ce hits an atomic drop, and Dun falls back the ropes, where Ce grabs him, lifts him on his shoulders, and nails him with a Samoan drop! Clearly favoring his knee Ce sets Dun up again, with a Gutwrench Suplex. Ce goes for a pin… ONE TWO and Dun kicks out!
Sun Ce’s showing signs of frustration- its clear his knee is still bothering him, even if he can somewhat function on it. Taking a second to think about his next course, Ce pulls Dun up, taking a step back to prepare for his Tiger Blow rush… but Dun kicks out, catching Ce in the knee, and Ce goes down. Dun quickly grabs Ce’s legs… and locks in the FEROCIOUS TALONS (lion tamer)!
Ce’s in so much pain right now, the crowd split- some calling on him to quit, the others pleading at him to hold on. And hold on he does, second by agonizing second, as he reaches out towards the ropes, trying to grab them. Dun grits his teeth digging in, but Ce manages to reach out… and get the rope in his hands! Dun is almost astonished as the ref orders the break, and the four-count that follows is more due to his disbelief than any sort of maliciousness.
Now it’s Dun who’s showing signs of frustration as he pulls the still groggy, still knee-injured Ce up and drags him to the middle of the ring. He looks to go for the Blue Inferno, but Ce somehow manages to block it, not allowing Dun to get any lift, for a second there seems to be a power struggle between the two men, then Ce finds himself hard whipped into the corner. But instead of slamming in, he leaps, putting a foot on the bottom rope, then one on the middle, then the top- his good foot, thankfully. As he hits the top turnbuckle, he turns back into the ring, propelling himself off the top rope in a head first dive.
And by the time Xiahou Dun figures out what’s about to happen- it’s too damn late.
BAM! The HEAVENLY FIRE SPEAR (TOp Rope Spear) hits its mark on the bullseye- the middle of Xiahou Dun’s torso, and BAH GOD HES BROKEN IN HALF! Both men crash to the mat to the crowd’s cheers. Ce yells in pain, and grabs at his knee, only to force himself to dive atop Dun as he realizes the end.. 1...is...2….HERE! 3 and DING DING DING!
WINNER BY PINFALL: SUN CE
The crowd erupt at the finish, but both men remain down, Ce back to clutching his knee, while Dun clearly has had the wind knocked all the way out of him. Medics come down to check both men, and it becomes apparent that it’s going to take a while to get these two out of here, so sore and banged up are they.
Hey, let’s go to commercial while we wait!
====================
Zhang Fei and Guan Yu are drunk.
Okay, we’re not CERTAIN Guan Yu is… although it does look like he’s imbibed quite a bit of Musou wine, and his cheeks are ruddy as hell. Zhang Fei? Yeah. He’s drunk. And loud. And… well, kinda obnoxious.
“I promise you one thing,” he says, pointing a beefy finger at his newfound friend. “We ever meet again in that ring… I don’t give a damn HOW long it takes. I’m gonna keep going until I have ya beat!”
For a response, Guan Yu simply smiles, raises his cup (which more resembles a bowl, because ANCIENT CHINA), and simply says “I welcome the challenge.”
“Ah,” Zhang Fei replies, downing his own cup in a single gulp. “I guess I suppose there’s gotta be some people around here that won’t leave me so sore. Then again, I came here for a fight… and you gave me one hell of one!”
“And you did me,” Guan Yu replies, pouring more wine for both men. He pauses though, as he realizes someone else has entered the area. Both Zhang Fei and Guan Yu look over, and you can hear the crowd SQUEE as we see its Liu Bei!
Liu Bei bows as polite can be. “I wanted to thank you- both of you- for coming to my aid earlier today.”
“Ahh… don’t worry about it,” Zhang Fei mutters, clearly embarassed.
“We couldn’t let those fanatics injure someone who seems so good and just, Lord Liu Bei,” Guan Yu says, dipping, his magnificent beard bobbing below the table he’s sitting at.
“Besides, it gave us a chance to crack some more skulls!” Zhang Fei adds.
Now its Liu Bei who’s somewhat embarassed. “Well, again, thank you so much. And if there’s anything I can do to repay you-”
“Why don’t you sit down and have a drink?” Zhang Fei interrupts, gesturing to a third chair. “It’d be a good start.”
“We’d welcome the company of an elite fighter such as yourself.” Guan Yu replies.
Liu Bei scratches his head. “I’m afraid you have me confused with someone else. I’d hardly consider myself elite…”
Guan Yu smiles. “And yet are you not the only one here who actually won his match?”
Zhang Fei roars in laughter, smacking the table at that. “HA! I guess that means he’s buying the next jug! Now, come on! Sit down, or you’re gonna make me offended. You dont wanna do that, do ya?”
Somewhat bemused, Liu Bei shakes his head, and sits down in a chair, Guan Yu procuring another cup and pouring for him. And with the three newfound friends happily talking, we head back to the ring.
=======================
After getting an EXTRA HELPING OF LIU BEI (making friends, no less!) the crowd’s now totally stoked. EXTRA LIU BEI and now the XILIANG EXPRESS about to kick some fatass’ teeth down his throat. Hells to the yeah!
Only one problem- that fatass, the decisively unlikeable Dong Zhuo, had the hypercapable Zhang Liao in his corner too. And in the early goings of the match, it was all Liao, who managed to keep Ma Chao completely on his heels with a mixture of strikes, comboed with some lower-level throws and submissions. Finally, frustrated, Ma Chao tagged in the much larger and intimidating Pang De- but that intimidation evidently didn’t transfer to Liao, who managed to skip around Pang De’s heavy blowss with relative ease, and land some crippling kicks to the midsection.
And all the while Dong Zhuo stood on the outside of the ring and smirked, never bothering to lift a finger.
Finally, after getting an attempt at an STF rope broken before it could fully be locked in, Pang De managed to make the tag to Ma Chao, who immediately went to the air, taking down Liao with a cross body block, something that had got the quickly quieting crowd going again. An even better effect was had- Zhang Liao, who had looked so confident and in control during the early stages of the match, was suddenly thrown off, allowing Ma Chao to break in a few DDT’s and a Russian Leg Sweep.
And then Ma Chao tagged in the big gun- Pang De, who seemed much more happy to go after a Zhang Liao that was on the ropes- literally. And when a 6’9 brute slingshot suplexes you- it gon’ hurt. Zhang Liao tried to get to his corner and tag out, but Pang De made damn sure that wasn’t gonna happen, and one tiltawhirl backbreaker later, there was a cover- for a two count.
And all the while Dong Zhuo stood on the outside of the ring and scowled, never bothering to lift a finger.
Zhang Liao though, was nothing if not resilient, and a vertical suplex by Pang De backfired with Liao slipping down behind him and hitting a backstabber, at the very least buying the smaller, banged-up man some time, hopefully leading to a tag out of the completely fresh Dong Zhuo. And Zhang Liao was ready to make the tag, crawling towards his corner, his outstretched hand getting closer- but Dong Zhuo just stood there. Never once put any single ounce of effort into reaching for his partner, just watching that hand inch ever closer, seemingly within reach, but not making the connection.
And then Pang De grabbed Liao’s leg, and jerked him away. At this point, even the anti Dong Zhuo crowd was getting behind the valiant Liao, and were disappointed that Liao’s efforts to tag out wouldn’t go in vain. Also, they wanted to watch that fat tub of lard get in there and get his ass whupped, but they did still respect Liao.
With the threat of Zhang Liao tagging out neutralized, Pang De tagged out to Ma Chao, and together the two devastated Liao with a double lifting DDT, spiking Liao’s head off the mat- good enough for a two count when Ma Chao covered. But Liao kicked out, and again tried to push his way to the corner. Ma Chao had another idea- end things right here with the THUNDERSLICE. But Zhang Liao countered and landed a pulling piledriver, sending the Splended One to the mat in a heap! Holy cow… was it enough for the fall? 1...2...nope.
The pinfall having failed, Zhang Liao’s mind became focused on one goal- tag the fuck out of this match, or die trying. And so he crawled towards his corner, where Dong Zhuo impassively sat waiting. Closer and closer he crawled, reaching out for the tag- and Ma Chao grabbed him and pulled him away,, only for Zhang Liao to make the tag! The crowd hooted in approval- time to come face the music, fat man!
Dong Zhuo looked utterly scandalized by this developpment, as the ref signalled the tag and ordered him in. Looking furiously down at Zhang Liao, Dong Zhuo entered, and immediately set upon Ma Chao, landing heavy blows with kicks and punches, not to mention a diving scoop slam that sent him crashing down on Ma Chao as he dropped him. As Ma Chao laid panting on the mat, Dong ZHuo laughed. Of course he hadn’t tagged in earlier- now that he was in this ring, it just wasn’t fair, and he was going to destroy these maggots!
Sensing the crowd didn’t quite agree, Zhuo tuanted them a little, drawing ire. This turned out ot be a mistake- as he grabbed Ma Chao, the smaller man slipped away, dove at his corner, and tagged in the monster Pang De. And just like that, Dong Zhuo was across the ring, tagging in Zhang Liao, who at this point was still working on the concept of standing upright. Liao looked utterly bewildered by this, but Dong Zhuo demanded he get in, and Liao had no other alternative but to comply..
And give Zhang Liao credit, the man has guts. He went straight for Pang De with a leaping lariat, staggering the bigger man. Encouraged, he backed Pang De into the corner with a leaping splash, and as De staggered out, went for the WHIRLWIND STRIKE (Discus lariat)- hoping to cause enough damage to send Pang De to nappytime.
It didnt’ even come close
De ducked the clothesline, which barely missed his head, and lifted up Zhang Liao, quickly inverting him. With a roar, he charged into the turnbuckle, crushing Liao’s spine against the corner, then turned and finished the XILIANG CHARGE (Oklahoma Slam) with authority! As he covered Ma Chao ran in to head off Dong Zhuo.
Not that he needed to bother, cause all Dong Zhuo did was stand on the outside, scowling furiously, never bothering to lift a finger.
1-2-3. Ding.
WINNERS VIA PINFALL: XILIANG EXPRESS
The crowd was pretty happy with that result. Actually, thats an understatement. They were ECSTATIC, chanting “XLX” as Ma Chao and Pang De raised their arms in victory. In the meantime, poor Zhang Liao was rolled out of the ring with help of the referee, all the while being yelled at Dong Zhuo for being completely hopeless. For a second, Ma Chao looked about ready to jump out of the ring and kick Zhuo in his ugly bloated head, but Pang De restrained him, and encuraged him to go to a turnbuckle, and salute the crowd, while De went to the opposite corner.
And it’s on that image that we leave you on, reminding you to tune in next week to the second edition of Warriors! The Grand Championship tournament kicks off… and the Triple Threat match to determine who will hold the power in HIW!
HAN IMPERIAL WRESTLING ENDS IN
3…
2….
1…
KILL TRANSMISSION
